PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Are strict sannyasa vows getting you down? Do you like the worship and prasad, but just can’t stand the commitment? Is retirement from the sannyasa ashrama on your horizon?

The Bhaktivedanta Memorial Home for Retired Sannyasis is here to serve you!

Our fine facility, staffed with the most professional devotees that laxmi can buy, promises you incomparable luxury at a price your ex-disciples can afford!

Life is good at The Bhaktivedanta Memorial Home for Retired Sannyasis… really good. We offer an excellent selection of amenities and services designed with the active lifestyle of a retired sannysasi in mind.

Your spacious bhajana kutir is available with living room/temple room, dining area and full kitchen. An extra bedroom is also available for a 24 hour personal servant.

Do you have a special diet? Here at Bhaktivedanta Memorial, we specialize in special diets! Can you only eat maha-prasadam? No problem! Do you take ekadasi prasadam every day? No problem! Or maybe you indulge in chocolate and the occasional cup of coffee? That’s no problem at all! We are here to serve you.

Since retirement, have you found yourself missing the glorification of worship that you, as a sannyasi, grew to love, expect and demand? Then look no where but Bhaktivedanta Memorial. Each day, after lavish breakfast prasadam, our trained staff will perform a full guru-puja to you, complete with peacock fan in the summer. You can even choose between the bhajans Sri Guru-vandana and Gurudeva!

And just to remember the good ol’ days, each year on your most holy appearance day, you’ll receive an extravagant vyasa-puja organized by our dedicated Worship Committee. And of course, the disciples who haven’t abandoned you are more than welcome to attend. You’ll even receive a commemorative Vyasa-puja Offerings Book, full of glorifications to you and you alone!

You can also take advantage of our housekeeping service, walking trails, on-site hair salon and shuffleboard courts.

Our only desire is for your retirement to be as comfortable, relaxing and luxurious as possible. After all, we hope you’ll keep coming back lifetime after lifetime.

This is our promise to you.

And remember, we keep our vows, so you don’t have to keep yours!

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  • vpd

    where is home for iskcon widows or sadhvis????. it only for men???. where is care for all 2 part of society- womens?. pamho .vpd

    • http://iskcon.us/ Alexander Shenkar

      Prabhu, I would think that since the ‘retired sannyasis’ are no longer bound to keep vows, they can simply have their wives move in with them into the Bhaktivedanta Memorial Home… That’s my speculation. PAMHO, ys.

  • hari bhakti

    this is a very good joke